Let the Miami Queen of SEO Help You!

If we can rank this ugly site to #1 don’t you think we can get you to the top as well?

We made this site ugly on purpose, with a ridiculous name, to prove a point.

E-mail miamiseobeotch@gmail.com if you are in need of our services…

Ah! So, you finally made it to my site. What happened? The other SEO “professionals” didn’t jive with you? You looked for someone who could help you with some local Miami (or regional) SEO for your website and business, and you got confused by their sites?

That’s not surprising, and I’ll tell you why. But first, allow me to introduce myself. I am locally known as the Miami SEO Bitch, and that’s not really meant in a mean or offensive way. It’s just that I tell it like it is. Othes call me the Queen of SEO in the area, so once we talk, you can make your own opinion.

I understand that I have a bit of a sassy tongue (comes from my mom who would warn me about that when I would talk back to her – which I don’t do anymore!). Nonetheless, if you like what I have to say and how I might be able to help you, we can get down to brass tacks and sign our respective contracts on the dotted line.

Go To Girl For Miami SEO

But let me put one thing on the table right away, so that you see where I am coming from right at the get-go. I LOVE working with, and helping people. That’s why I’m in this field to begin with.

I’m also good at it, which makes it even better.

Here is the thing that I want to make very, very clear. I cannot stand it when:
1. People talk to me in some condescending way like I’m some kind of Kindergartner that doesn’t know anything.
2. Professionals in ANY field – SEO included – act like they are some kind of king of the mountain, as though no one else on the planet could possibly know as much as they do – that arrogance. It pisses me off.

No one is better than anyone else, and I don’t care who you are (other than a human being). Yeah, that means you, too.

So, I won’t insult your intelligence by pretending you don’t know what you are here for. You are looking for help to get your website in a better position for your potential customers and clients to find you on the internet.

Maybe a friend told you that you needed to get some help and/or consultation about your website’s performance. They told you to please go to the Googlemeister and type in “SEO Miami” or some such phrase, because you needed that type of help.

Or, maybe you already knew about SEO (search engine optimization, just in case you truly didn’t know what the initials mean), and couldn’t get your site to show up on your own, and you know that you needed some outside help.

Regardless of how you came to look for it, you did – and you may have found some of the other guys who do what I do, but you either didn’t have a clue what they were talking about at their sites, or you didn’t care for their tone of voice (or how they came across) – and now you’ve found me.

Queen Of Miami Search Engine Optimization

And, maybe you don’t care for my tone of voice either, but that’s ok. If you don’t like my delivery, we may not be a good match.

On the other hand, you might find it refreshing to just hear someone speak from their hearts, and you decided to stay and hear more of what I may be able to do for you.

Glad you did.

So, now that you’re here, what is it you are hoping that I can help you with?

If you aren’t 100% sure how to articulate it, here’s a quick summary of my and my colleagues’ particular strengths and skills:

  • We are able to analyze your website to see if it’s built on a strong foundation – for example (but not limited to these points):

– Is the website built with the ability to navigate it correctly on computers AND cell phones alike?

– In every website, there are places “deep inside” that aren’t visible to your readers, but that typically contain information that is important to properly set up to ensure that when search engines (e.g. Google, Yahoo, Bing) “see” it, that they know exactly what your site is about so that they can begin to recognize it when we begin to work on increasing its visibility. We work on this.

– We look at your content to ensure that it reads correctly, with the right “buzz words” (aka keywords), as well as the right quantity and quality of these terms. Or, we help build your content correctly if you don’t have it.

  • We are able to use very specific strategies that help send the right “signals” from other internet locations that help ensure that when people are searching for the business you are offering, that YOU are the right answer/solution to their question/problem. We can expand a lot more about that when it’s time to chat.

 The Biggest SEO Question:

A big question I get (and I totally understand you wanting to know this) is “How much?? What is all this gonna cost me??”

Totally appropriate question. There’s no “one answer” though. The only answer I can give you right here and now is… “it depends.” And it’s true. No malarkey there!

Our Miami SEO Examples

Example #1: For example, let’s say that your website is more of a “calling card” than an actual marketing vehicle or online store. Almost like, you aren’t actually SELLING on the site. So, what if ALL you needed was for me to analyze your site to make sure that you have it all set up correctly, and that it isn’t prone to spam comments, and that your content reads correctly?

Example #2: Now, on the other hand, let’s say you’re one of our local veterinarians, plumbers, carpenters, dentists, or what have you, and you really want to grow your business. You want more people calling you for appointments and services. When someone gets onto their phone or computer, and types in “veterinarian in Hileah” or “best Kendale Lakes carpenter” or something like that, you want YOUR website to be numero uno (or even numero #2 or #3) in the big Google or Yahoo or Bing.

Well, getting you to THAT point? Now, that’s a different ball of wax altogether. That is a process that could take months.

Compare the scope of projects and what the possible requirements and workloads between examples #1 and #2.

As you might imagine, example #1 might take a week or two, and then the job is pretty much done. There would likely be a set price for that particular job.

Example #2 is long-term, and ongoing. Pricing for this type of job would likely require a retainer and then a monthly cost, which would have to be calculated based on the findings during the initial analysis that determine the difficulty involved in raising your standings in the search results.

And another thing… Don’t try telling me that it’s “too expensive” or “not worth the money.” That’s bullshit. If you really feel that way, then, please – go somewhere else and get some person groveling for business who will promise you the world for a couple of hundred bucks, and see where that gets you. If you’re looking for the cheapest people, that’s not me.

Because I don’t want to end up working for the cheapest people. They’re just a pain in the ass.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up: If you aren’t serious about making damn sure that your website is performing correctly, that your content is well balanced, that the people and other sites pointing to you are trustworthy and that the links are appropriate, and that you stand a chance of ranking in the search engines, well, then go bother someone else.

If you’ve made it through this far, and you want to take the next step with someone who is no-nonsense, and willing to roll up her sleeves and get into the trenches with you, then give me a call.

I’ll be waiting for you!